There's the colleague who interrupts. The one who accepts a deadline and then vanishes. The one who turns “just checking” into a small-scale investigation.
And there's you, trying to finish a normal working day without writing a Teams message that becomes Exhibit A in somebody else's grievance.
Below are fifteen situations you might recognise. Some require a firm sentence. Others require a proper conversation, a change in process or help from someone with authority. The examples are fictional, but the problems are ordinary enough.
The people who make meetings harder
1. The interrupter
You are halfway through a point when Sam jumps in to “build on it”, which somehow involves making your point louder and longer. Don't apologise for finishing.
“I'll finish this thought, then I'd like to hear your view.”
Calm and brief. If it keeps happening, speak to the meeting chair about making space for everyone.
2. The credit-taker
They present work you did without mentioning your role. Rather than starting a public trial about their intentions, give the group accurate information: “I built the analysis behind that recommendation and can take the questions.” More examples are in our credit-stealing guide.
3. The person who shuts down every idea
“That won't work” arrives before you have explained what “that” is. Ask which specific assumption concerns them. A genuine objection will become clearer; reflexive negativity has less room to hide.
“Which part do you think will fail? If it's the cost, I've got the estimate here.”
4. The person who turns every question into a performance
They ask something technical in front of the director, then look delighted when you hesitate. Don't rush to fill a gap with a guess. Say, “I don't have the confirmed figure in front of me. I'll check it and send it round this afternoon.” Knowing the limit of your knowledge is not an embarrassment.
The colleagues who make every message complicated
5. The passive-aggressive emailer
“As I'm sure you remember...” is followed by a CC list long enough to staff a small wedding. Ignore the theatre. Answer the task, the facts and the deadline.
“Thanks. The revised figures were shared yesterday. The remaining item is approval of the assumptions. Can you confirm the sign-off by 3pm?”
6. The instant-reply enthusiast
They send “Hi”, wait eight seconds, then ask whether you're there. Agree how urgent messages will be marked and what reasonable response times look like. Otherwise your day becomes one continuous interruption.
7. The colleague who treats you as their unofficial assistant
One favour becomes five. You can help occasionally without quietly acquiring another job description.
“I can help with the first draft today, but I can't own the weekly process. Who is responsible for it after this?”
8. The person who sends vague requests
“Need this ASAP” might mean a ten-minute check or a two-day analysis. Ask for the output, the deadline and what gets deprioritised. You're not being awkward by requesting the information needed to do the job.
When their behaviour affects your work
9. The colleague who misses deadlines and blames you
They didn't send the data. At the review, they explain that the whole project was waiting on your analysis. Keep delivery records and describe the dependency without making a speech about fairness.
“The model was ready on Tuesday. I'm waiting for the final input file before I can run the checks. Once it arrives, I need half a day to finish.”
10. The one who keeps changing the agreed approach
You settle the plan on Monday. On Wednesday, they ask for a new version. If changes are legitimate, price them in time and effort: “Happy to change it. That will move the delivery to Friday. Shall I proceed?”
11. The person who withholds information
They know there's a new client requirement but mention it after the work is complete. It may be poor communication, not sabotage. Ask for a shared update channel and an owner for distributing decisions.
12. The coworker who delegates upwards and sideways
They volunteer the team for work, then pass it to whoever seems least likely to object. Redirect the question to accountability: “Who's owning this workstream, and what's the agreed capacity?”
When it feels personal
13. The gossip collector
They want you to agree that the new manager is incompetent. You don't have to contradict them, but don't add claims you can't support. “I haven't seen that myself. What happened?” is a useful way to slow things down.
14. The colleague who leaves you out
You're responsible for delivery but not invited to the decision meeting. Ask to be included on the next relevant discussion and explain why. If exclusion is repeated and targeted, keep evidence and consider seeking support.
15. The colleague who makes personal digs
A joke about your accent, appearance or background is not something you have to laugh off to keep the peace. Depending on the remark and context, this may be harassment or discrimination rather than simple rudeness. You can say, “Don't make comments about that,” if safe, and seek advice through an appropriate route.
A private conversation worth having
If a colleague repeatedly misses a handover, catch them away from an audience. “The last two files arrived after the agreed deadline, and I've had to stay late to finish the checks. Can we agree a firm time and an early warning if it's going to slip?”
Give them room to explain. Perhaps the deadline was unrealistic or a different manager changed priorities. You're trying to fix a system, not collect a confession.
If they become hostile, end the conversation politely rather than trying to win it. “I don't think we're getting anywhere right now. I'll follow up with the project lead about the handover.”
The three-line follow-up
For recurring delivery issues, a short recap often works better than a long complaint: “We agreed the numbers will be shared by midday Wednesday. I'll validate them that afternoon and send the client draft Thursday. If the numbers are delayed, we'll revisit the delivery date.”
Make sure relevant people are included, and don't drag half the company into a routine disagreement. If you need a bigger framework for informal influence, see how to handle office politics.
When not to deal with it alone
Persistent intimidation, bullying, harassment or discrimination should not be reframed as a puzzle you must solve with better phrasing. Keep a factual record, check your workplace policy and consider your manager, HR, a union representative or independent advice. Acas sets out ways to raise workplace problems, including formal routes for serious concerns.
The goal isn't to make everybody like you
It's to get through the work with decent relationships, clear expectations and your dignity intact. Some people will respond well to a calm boundary. Some won't. Either way, you can stop spending half your week trying to guess what they meant by “interesting approach”.